My attempts at harpooning lunch. Live from Tuktoyaktuk.

Crouch King and some annoying scouser

Apparently, Ledley King will be on the plane to South Africa as part of the England squad. That according to Fabio “Don” Capello who let it slip that King will be rested for the next friendly against Japan but will get a run out in a warm up game in Africa. So that is one Spurs player off to Africa then. I think Lennon and Defoe will go and given Crouch is everyone’s Plan B he will be off too. It will be interesting to see if Dawson and Huddlestone get the call. I think they are more likely picks for future tournaments. But if they do, that would be six of 22. Not bad at all.

It was good to see both King and Crouch score for England the other night against Mexico, although by all accounts it was a pretty cack-handed performance by all.

The fact that so many Spurs players are going to South Africa is testament to how good a team Tottenham has become. Tottenham were good money for their fourth place finish and it will be interesting to see how they do in the Champions League next season. It will be great to see how Spurs stack up against the likes of Milan, Madrid, Munich and any other team that begins with M.

Looking at the confusing and convoluted draw, Spurs have to play a qualifying round before entering the group stages. There are some pretty good teams in that round like Ajax, Werder Bremen and Sevilla. Seedings, however, should keep Spurs away from them. Potential opponents include Fenerbace, Samdoria and Sonia Braga.

But Spurs should see any of them off and get into the all important group stage. After all the push to get the champions league spot, a loss to someone like the Turks will not be viewed in a positive light shall we say. Most of the Spurs team should consider the witness protection program if they are bounced at that stage. Peter Crouch maybe shouldn’t bother.

Redknapp is notorious for wheeling and dealing, but one hopes that there isn’t too much wholesale changes with the team. You don’t want to stand still but you also don’t want to break up a good young corps of players. A couple of Champions League experienced squad players is what is needed.

It is a bit of an anathema to Redknapp, but the reality of Champions League football is the 4-5-1 formation, so any additions will have to reflect that tactical reality and players will have to be brought in who can fit with that system.

Apparently the Brazilian Sandro is coming and will be a good solid hard tackling defensive midfielder. He is a likely replacement or addition to Palacios. I was a big fan of Palacios and he changed the attitude of the team last year. But of late he hasn’t been great. I know some awful issues in his personal life had some effect on his motivation so it will be interesting to see whether he remains committed to playing in England or wishes to return home. He is hoping he returns to form as he is a class act and a hard working player.

It seems likely Bentley, Jenas and O’Hara are on their way out. Redknapp finally figured out Jenas is  crap. O’Hara wants full time football and, unfortunately, I don’t think he will get it at Spurs so it would be better for him to move on. Pity, as he was another guy committed to the cause with a great attitude. I have slagged-off Bentley pretty mercilessly over the last couple of years. But give credit where credit is due. For the last half of this season he has seemed to realize he is not David Beckham II. Credit to Redknapp for working with him and getting to play less flashy, solid football. He didn’t light it up very often, but he did score some pretty spectacular goals, and for the most part he played competently, did most of the right things and was a reliable fill in for Lennon. I think he will be better suited to another team. Tottenham have become a speedy team and he is just too slow for the style of play.

So, lots to look forward too next year. Just some small tournament in Africa of all places to get out of the way next month.

Come on Archie!

As this season draws to a close, Tottenham are in real danger of actually getting into the Champions League. A top four club. A chance to be playing the likes of Barcelona or Inter Milan or Shaktar Donetsk. With just eight games left, Spurs are in fourth and a point up on Liverpool, three on Man City and six on Aston Villa. And the team has remained there in spite of a really serious run of injuries. At this point, Spurs would have been challenging for third or second if it wasn’t for those two loses to Wolves. Or the loss of Aaron Lennon.
The win against Blackburn last weekend was comfortable. Boringly so. But a win is a win. More on that later.
That’s the good news.
The bad news is three of those eight games are against the top three teams. And the recent form against Man U, the Gooners and Chelsea has been less than stellar for the last…oh…ten years. So it would be a good time to turn that around then.
To finish fourth, Spurs will probably have to win the five other games, starting this week at the home of the always difficult Stoke. They will then have to probably pick up a win and a draw against the big three. It’s a tall order, but it will establish the team’s bona fides this year.
There is also the little matter of the FA Cup replay with Fulham next week. A win there sets up a semi final match with Portsmouth, a team we should beat, especially if they suddenly stop paying their players, and then it is an FA Cup final for the first time since 1992. But let’s not get ahead of things here. Fulham and Pompey will not roll over.
The first game against Fulham was a dullish affair. The dreaded nil nil draw.
The nil nil draw is like the bad sex of football. Football really is like sex. It has a flow and a rhythm. Unlike say ice hockey, where the goals fly in sometimes out of nowhere, you seem to know when a goal is coming. There is a build up pressure, a sort of dance, with the pressure building as the movement builds toward a net stretching climax.
I am not alone in this feeling. Watch the film Trainspotting where the famous Archie Gemmill goal for Scotland against the Dutch is equated to sex. Although as it was a solo run, it is equated with wanking. So very Scottish then.
The comfortable win is like the date with the girl you kinda like, it’s good, it’s fun and you’re left with a warm glow. But then, where’s the fireworks? Where’s the freaky trapeze?
The nil nil draw has all the build up and pressure but none of the release. It’s the date with the virgin of sport, the coitus interuptus of football. I can’t think of any other sports that has no scoring. Perhaps it is good to have one of these once in a while, the make the other experiences so much more exciting.

One of the things about being a new father is the understanding you gain of how responsible you are for the behavior of your child. If your kid repeats the same bad behavior or continually gets into the same predicaments, don’t get mad at the kid, get mad at yourself for putting them into the same position. Your kid doesn’t know better.

This is a long way to get to the point of this blog, namely that Harry Redknapp should wear today’s cock up in Birmingham not Jermaine Jenas.

Everyone knows Jermaine Jenas is a useless tit. He can only pass sideways or backwards. He runs around like a chicken with a spastic colon, gets the ball passes it backwards and then runs at the opposition goal. To what end know one knows. He doesn’t tackle, score often or set up goals.

Jenas completely changes the dynamic of the team. No one wants to pass to him as they know the ball is going to go backwards. The defence doesn’t trust him to protect them and therefore sit further back, with the full backs uncovered. The other central midfielder has to pick up more slack and the attackers have to come back to collect the ball. I didn’t see the game against Liverpool, but all the comments I read said Jenas was awful and largely responsible for the loss. Last weekend, he was awful and responsible for Leeds’ first goal. Today he comes on with a minute left in regular time, he gives the ball away, leaving Corluka up the field, tracks back where he gets the opportunity to close down the winger who crossed to the eventual scorer but stands around and misses it while a knackered Curluka looks like a goat for missing the scorer. Nice work for three minutes.

But here is the point. We know Jenas is crap. The rest of the team knows it and the fans in the ground know it. But he is going to go out and play when he is asked. It is not his fault.

The fault lies with Redknapp. I don’t want to knock a guy who has kept Tottenham in the top four for the last three months. He knows what he is doing. In reality the team has only lost once in 12 games and is having its best season since the 1960s.  So why does he have such a blind spot when it comes to Jenas? Why keep playing the guy who is apparently getting worse and is directly responsible for goals against. Why can’t the manager see this? If it is a problem with squad depth, why did he bring him on as a sub? Why did we ship O’Hara to Portsmouth? The team was playing well until then. They worked hard to work an opening against a tough team. It was a huge let down after a strong effort. Redknapp should ship Jenas if only to stop the temptation of playing him again.  

And with all the rivals for fourth winning today, it puts huge pressure on the team and with Man city playing last place Portsmouth tomorrow, it is likely that three teams will be within a win of Tottenham by tea time.

What the hell has Harry done to my team? Surely, he must know the legacy and tradition of Spurs. The plot is a well known one, so why isn’t he playing along?

First up, we should have spent the summer being linked to every player under the sun. We would then buy some overpriced has been or never was and promise a top four finish. Then it is a pre-season of thrashing of the likes of Brentford and Leyton Orient. Expectations turn into jubilation. And then comes the beginning of the season where we lose the first five games to Newcastle, Boro, Sunderland,  Bolton and Chelsea and we spend of the rest of the season struggling to mid table.

And that is how we Tottenham fans like it. We want to have that anticipation turn to bitter disappointment. We want to complain about our overpaid nobs. We want to wallow in self pity and loathing. It is what we do. It is what the Tottenham football club is all about. Oh sure, there was that 1960s aberration when Spurs won tons of stuff but they got rid of that stuff tout de suite in the 70s and even managed to get relegated. Relief all round.

So here is Harry Redknapp. Not buying players we don’t need. Buying good players can you believe? Bassong being a really good buy it turns out.

Then there is the whole winning thing. WTF? Beat Liverpool handily. Thrash Burnley 5-1 and beat the Hammers at Upton Park. We even have the gall to sit at the top of the table.

What is going on? Harry has even taken to playing basically the same team for three games in a row. How is that going to work? Doesn’t he know there is a whole squad of overpaid starlets waiting to work up a very minor sweat?

It is a about time Harry started playing some of our other players and losing a few games so we can get back to the proper Spurs. Back to feeling miserable and whinging.

pxembh35uw

Lisa Randall

Last night, I was surfing around the dial after watching a hilarious interview with Ben Elton. He hasn’t been that funny for a while. Oh, how I larffed.

I then clicked over to Charlie Rose who was, as usual, constantly interrupting his interview subject with another long-winded inane question. I wish he would shut up and let his guests speak. I am always amazed how he can spin out some droning, probing, looping, searching question of a musician, for example, that is essentially “what are your influences.”

I will admit that I paused on his show because his guest was a good looking blonde woman. But, I then watched the whole interview with Lisa Randall, who is a theoretical physicist at Harvard. No mean feat considering the time of night and the phrase ‘theoretical physicist’ doesn’t usually inspire rapture on my part. She very eloquently explained her theories about other spatial dimensions the weakness of gravity, branes and string theory. She was pushing her book called “Warped Passages,” which is a general reader explanation of string theory and alternate dimensions among other things. By the end of the show my head was swimming. It was like listing to Stephen Hawking. Engaging enough to get you into the subject but then it was pretty hard to keep up once they really got beyond the introduction. I think I’d have a hard time getting my head around theoretical ideas about alternate spatial dimensions but I am intrigued enough now to get the book.

This got me thinking about two things. Why didn’t I have a professor like her when I was in University? Eloquent, brilliant, passionate, hot. Now, I did get a couple of good profs at the U of W, but my university experience was generally negative. I should have gone to Harvard or Cambridge then shouldn’t I. Just one small hindrance to that plan–complete and utter lack of discipline or ability.

The second thought was why do I know Paris Hilton’s name and not Lisa Randall’s? One flashes her vagina and walks around with a cell phone all day, and one has a dozen degrees, figures out the nature of alternate universes and the ways to describe them. What a stupid screwed up society will live in. One day, someone will find the cure for cancer. No one will know that person’s name a week later but we will all die remembering the intimate details of Vince and Jenn’s breakup. Welcome to Huxley’s Brave New World.

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!